Cal Anderson Park will be a battleground; one echoing with the “Foomp” walloping sound of cardboard tube pounding human flesh. On August 21, 2011 at 2 p.m., warriors from around the Sound will gather to find who will be ‘The One,’ The Corrugated Soldier standing alone. Children, adults, novices and battle scarred veterans alike will wield mighty tubes of cardboard and flail wildly at one another, all for free, at the Cardboard Tube Fight. Come, join the battle.
Once banned in the United States (not really), Cardboard Tube Fights gained popularity in the Warehouse Districts of London’s East End as an underground sport. Gaining legitimacy through the athleticism, sportsmanship, and tenacity of champions like, Kelly “Kagy” Gregory, Eli “La Tube” Squelch, and Renee “Foomp-mama” Harris, Cardboard Tube Fighting reached prominence in the Fall of 1996 with the appearance of an over 100-word article in Ultra-alternative Sports.
Ty Garfield was able to sit with Kagy Gregory and delve into the nuance of this minimal-contact quasi-sport/activity:
KG: Thanks for coming by. It’s really, really, really great to talk to someone who’s interested in CTF.
TG: Yeah, no prob…
KG: So, you want a Fresca, or a Diet Rite or something?
TG: No, I’m fine, thanks.
KG: I have some Pepsi Clear.
TG: No, um. I’m good. Honestly. So, Kagy, what would you say is the essence of being a successful Cardboard Tube Warrior?
KG: I like to think of it as the Three T’s: Timing, Training, and, um… Tube.
TG: Can you give some more details? Explain timing. What does that mean and how does it fit into your overarching strategy?
KG: What you’re failing to understand is that timing IS strategy! So if some dude is winding up, you just Foomp him on the head while his arm is would back.
TG: And Training; what is your training regimen like?
KG: In a nutshell, posing is the key to Cardboard Tube fighting. With out the proper pose you might as well give it all up. Your pose should be menacing, poised and express power and confidence. Everything else, blocking and striking… It’s all instinct.
TG: And Tube:…
KG Selecting the correct Tube is all about weight. If you stroll into Cal Anderson park with a toilet paper roll, you’re gonna get creamed. Unless, you’ve fashioned some kind of TP Roll Nunchuck or something. And if you’re planning on using on of those thick poster rolls from the Post Office? Forget it. Your arms are gonna get tired. I prefer a good old wrapping paper tube. Sleek, elegant, with a good ‘foomp’ sound when you connect with someone.